In Your Own Eyes

We each live in our own frame of reference. What I mean by “frame of reference” is that our particular view in daily life is greatly influenced and formed by our personal experiences and circumstances. You cannot see through my eyes, and I cannot see through yours. That’s not a complaint, it’s simply a reality. I have borders and boundaries just like you. We should not trespass!

Let me make it very clear, I am not referring to the absolutes which are found in scripture. There are Biblical truths that apply to every single person who is reading this post. So please do not twist or distort my words to justify your particular life choices that are in direct opposition to God’s holy word. We each have the responsibility to read, study, obey, and apply the word of God.

What I’m specifically referring to is the God given differences we each have. Although things change throughout our life, like it or not our personal history has created some “borders” that are unique. In other words, my life is unique compared to your life. And our particular disposition in life is based on those specific realities. Some individuals have been blessed with great health. Others live with daily illness. Some individuals have financial stability. Others cannot meet there basic needs. Some have sharp and witty minds, others are dull and mentally challenged. Some have nice homes and nice vehicles, others do not. I could go on and on but I think you get the point. People are different. Some sail, others sink. Some laugh, others weep. Some are joyful, some grieve. Some are on the mountaintop, others are in the valley.

Let me be honest and transparent with you for a moment. God has tempered, refined, and transformed me through the years. He is still doing it. “The fining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold: but the LORD trieth the hearts” (Proverbs 17:3). Through the fiery furnace of testing, He has taught me to back-off and not be so strongly opinionated about what someone else “should” be doing. He has taught me to stop judging someone else according to my “frame” of reference or my perspective. Reminding me that, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts” (Proverbs 21:2). I am far from where I need to be. Ask my immediate family if you doubt that.

When I was younger, I possessed a strong, positive mental attitude and did not understand why others could not be like me. I was healthy, athletic, and out going, strutting around like a proud peacock. I did not have understanding or genuine compassion for those who were suffering. And often gave counsel that was harsh, insensitive, and shallow. God has softened my heart. The Lord has expanded my “frame of reference” by allowing me to be on both sides. “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ

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which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:11-13).

Here are some things I’m learning. There is a time to speak, and there is a time to be silent. There is a time to laugh, and a time to weep. There is a time to offer words of Biblical counsel, and a time to simply listen. I cannot fix everyone’s hurt. I am not the solution to everyone’s problem. I cannot answer everyone’s question. It is always appropriate and wise for me to discern the perfect will of God, before offering advice. And it is crucial to rightly divide the word of truth, regarding any door God opens for ministering to others. I’ve learned that my opinion has no lasting power, but God’s word is everlasting. And I am “learning” that love never fails. I know God is still working on me.

There may be no one who truly understands you. Others may, with good intentions, offer unwanted words of advice.  But in the end, Jesus is really the only one who truly knows what you are going through. “Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:14-16).

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